The man who sat across from me stood up and nodded his goodbye. Ruth, the woman beside me, went back into her book. Earlier when I walked over, she had offered a warm smile and we had started talking. Found out she was another Brit who had lived in Nigeria. She was here with her husband and their former church family and they drove over from Cardiff to Shepton Mallet .
Burrowing further into the warm sofa, I retreated into my cocoon. My phone was back at the tent and there was nothing to do but soak in this stillness.
Soon enough he walked over carrying a bowl of food with coffee and she did the introductions. Peter was his name. Then we got talking.
“Amara, can I ask?” he shifted closer to me
I arched an eyebrow at him and saw his wife smiling.
“You spoke about how you moved through the spectrum in your cancer journey from anger to gratitude and now at ease with God. Do you still get angry at him?
I smiled.
“Sometimes. Even yesterday I was”.
“Well, I am currently very angry with God. Not for myself but I am lamenting over the pain and sufferings all around. I am 62 and probably should not be saying this but that is right where I am now”
I threw back my head and guffawed enough to draw some glances
“Why are you laughing?” he asked
“Do you remember those guys I was with at that table when I left you earlier? I looked at his wife. She nodded. “we talked about lamentations and how to respond to trials. So I find it funny that twice in one evening, I am meeting two different sets of people at a Christian event talking about lamentations”
“What did you guys talk about?” the husband inquired of me
I gave him a summary.
“Well, I am also there right now and I refuse to be shamed with the picture of Job. I have been talking to a pastor mentor of mine and this morning we still had this conversation. He tells me it is okay to be vulnerable and mad at God that he can handle it”
“Precisely my point!” I pumped the air I like your mentor already
“I must start by saying he is a good God, he does not do bad things yet he allows it and that is my grouse with him” Peter remarked.
“We just lost a friend of ours. She was 57 and she died of …..he stalled a bit and looked at me apologetically…I smiled because I somehow seemed to know what was coming…”cancer”
I nodded
“She was a believer. Had so much faith and trust. We all had these prayers going on for her and yet God called her home. We just buried her
“Another friend, a pastor, lost his 17-year old son recently to cancer. He was a jolly kid who loved the Lord and people. We all hoped he was going to make it. Right now, his father is losing it. He does not want to hear anything about God while his mother’s faith is ……….. Part 2
