“Do not tell me. I don’t want to hear it again”. I groaned as anger-spiced tears sprang.
By now, I had uncurled from the Baby pose to a Plank position on my Prayer Mat. The words rankled as I read them “for I know the plans I have for you, plans for welfare and not for evil. To give you a future and a hope. Then you will call on me and…”
“But when will you do it? I have been banging on your door for how long now over this simple thing yet you…..”. I pounded the floor in frustration with fists thereby modifying my plank position
“I feel so deflated and helpless like you do not even care. If you will not do it just say and stop stringing me along”. The tears trickled onto the mat
At this point, I gave no thought to what my downstairs neighbour would feel as I pounded the floor angrily and yelled out my frustrations. I had zoomed out of the considerate zone.
“Can you not see what you are doing?” I heard
“What! What am I doing?” I shrieked, pounding the floor and sobbing angrily
“You are voiding your confession. Those exact words are what you confess, affirm and seek to manifest daily however right now and for whatever reasons, see how easy it is for you to counter them”
My head whirled and quickly dug up my affirmation list. There they were; two lines staring at me with sad eyes
A bit contrite now and lying prone I continued my argument
“Oh, I am sorry. I take back the words”
“You either stick to your confession irrespective of what you see or let your feelings allow you send conflicting signals”
“You keep saying **akwai sa zuciya a gabana ….** I delved into the Hausa version since Hausa language is my mind’s default processor
“I feel locked in. Stuck in this stranglehold that I dare not even breathe. Do you have any idea how it feels? Everyone is having a blast out there achieving and I am here while time passes by and … …….”
“I locked you up but you are still alive?”
“Alive?”
“Yes, you are still alive while XYZ (and I heard at least 3 names of actual people who seemingly had it all together and having a blast yet suddenly dropped dead) are dead despite everything they had going for them”
“So what if they died? I am alive, let me be alive or”
At this point, my energy had fizzled out and I came back into the baby pose only to hear
“just shut up”
“Me?” My head whirled as I looked startled at the door
“Just shut up. Infact, get up and leave”
Chastened like a spoilt brat, I uncurled from my prayer mat. Prayer mode deactivated I reached for my phone to capture this moment of my Thursday morning.
** There is hope in my future**
