THE BEAUTY OF A CEMETERY
“I am a Nigerian”.
“We do not die”.
Okay, let us paraphrase that.
“I am a Nigerian. Culturally, we do not do deaths because we do not die”.
“Still confused?”
“Alright, repetez apres moi………”
‘Nigerians as a people do not believe in death. Death is a myth. It is not an appointment you willingly keep like going to your GP. It is something which happens to others. Some persons far removed from you. Capisci?’
“What is there not to understand yet?”
“Alright, stay with me.”
“Disney’s Encanto?”
“yes?”
“Uncle Bruno?”
“there you go again veering off. Are we not talking Nigerians and death?”
“Why do you think she was fascinated with the idea of him?”
“Because he was a mystery?”
“good”
“Why do you think Abuela banished him?”
“because he was getting on her nerves?”
“smart”
“how did he manage to get under her skin so much that she sent away her only son?”
“he was becoming spooky”
“awesome!”
“Culturally, we do not do spooky. They scare us. Except of course we are talking masquerades and Babalawos”.
“Babala what?”
“forget it!”
“Alright, you were saying about death?”
“Yes. we do not talk about death”
“What is the big deal? It is a rite of passage”
“Hush, do not speak of death like that. Rites of passage for us include: acquire an education or skill, get married, have children, build houses. Not die”.
“Therefore, like Abuela, we banish death to the basement because if it is no longer in our faces then it simply does not exist. That is until the putrefying odours sneak out through our vents”.
“but I figured Nigerians are these highly religious people. Death surely is a……..?”
“yes, we are a very religious lot. Religion does not equate spiritual, does it?”
“so your churches do not teach about…………?”
“they do. During funerals”
“and otherwise?”
“we cling onto God’s promise of satisfying us with a long life and refuse to jinx it”
“and the agnostics and atheists?”
“they go traditional”
“how?”
“Bendel Insurance”
“Life Insurance?”
“No.”
“the Football Club?”
“forget it”
“so what is Bendel Insurance then?”
“it is a code. #ifyouknowyouknow”
“still that is so absurd! Death is a normal part of the cycle of life”
“well, our cycle is not a circle”
“What does that even mean?”
“have you not been listening? We do not talk about Wills, Estate Planning, continuity et al. One of the unforgivable sins a wife could commit would be to talk to her husband about a Will”
“and when he dies intestate?”
“3rd-parties benefit”.
“death does not even qualify as a hot conversation. We only hush-hush about it. It is an appointment we neither make nor intend to keep except of course we are dragged kicking and yelling to it”.
“Graveyards are off-limits and access is granted only on a needs basis. We hide them from view with sky-high fences and if for any reason you find yourself alone close to any at night time, then wisdom tells you to run for dear life”.
“did I not read that you bury the dead at home?”
“yes. various areas of the South do”
“and you are not scared of the dead?”
“Some of us are”
“you are being so absurd right now. Cemeteries are public places here; did we not sit at one the other day while we grabbed coffee?”
“oh trust me, that is one of the beauties of this western world – unfettered access to a cemetery – a blessing for my mental health”
“how?”
“fighting a hydra like cancer messes with your head so time spent at a cemetery beats any prescription. It also allows your smudged glasses become clearer and you come away with your cup overflowing.
And it was during one of those days in late January that I wrote this post before these deaths occurred.
Selah!