…..missed Part 1? here
getting stronger” his plaintive tone cut into me
At some point in the conversation; Ruth stood up to get more coffees and after much insistence from both of them, I agreed to a Cappuccino.
Although it had begun to rain on a day with a sunny forecast, my stomach roiled at the thought of another coffee. I have already had a latte and a mocha within an hour of arriving at camp. What I craved now was some steaming food. Yet, my Social Intelligence prevailed.
“My grouse is from the fact that God can disallow this from happening yet he chooses not to. I mean look at the Holy Spirit and his exploits, have you seen him move and seen the things he can do? he remarked resignedly
“I totally get you”. I replied. Like I said earlier; I moved from anger to gratitude as I realised that if he had let me die, he would have still been God. When my friends lost their 25-year old daughter recently, the first thing I felt was
“That should have been me and it is so not fair. I mean I had cancer. This girl was barely in the hospital before she died! I had some kind of guilt not knowing how to relate to them. I still have a mental picture of my friend coming down to Portsmouth to see me during Chemo. They attended the graduation up North and she came all the way to see me and even spent the night. Yet, here I am and her daughter who recently graduated is gone. What can we say then to these things?”
“My mentor says peace comes from acceptance, not knowledge” he remarked
“True that” I concurred
“All I know is that God can tackle our questions and feelings. He clearly gave us a front row seat to see how it played out when his heroes cried out – Elijah, Jonah, Jeremiah & even the Job they throw in our faces, also did cry out.
“Even Paul who was given a heads-up during conversion about his impending sufferings still cried out. God did not rebuke but offered him grace. And I amara relate to him from a place of sonship instead of slavery. All these God-handlers who are laundering his image for him are doing more harm than good. If I cannot keep it real with my father, how then can I minister to someone else who is confused and comes to me? We cannot all be like David who picked up himself after crying and moved on”
This was the only point that Ruth chipped in jocularly with “by the way did you notice they were all men crying?”
“Oh, David had his vulnerable moments too. A whole lot all through the Psalms. Maybe that was what earned him the man after God’s own heart” Peter opined
We chatted some more and thanking them for my coffee; I stood up then with a wry smile noted “by the way you are in the prayer team” pointing to his purple wristband worn by those who pray for others
“He has been trying to hide it” His wife reached over to pull his sleeves lower
“I am” he grinned. “But I still got my questions”