“You seem to be very high on managing your emotions”
“yes, I have a very high emotional quotient”
“and I see it is helping you a lot on this journey”
“somehow” I whispered across the lines
“care to explain?” he prodded
“Well, I choose to see the pluses in my situation because there are a lot of good” I then went on to list some of the good for him
“you have a good perspective about this whole thing and that is helping to keep you grounded” he praised
“but I am right now floundering more than feeling grounded”
“be kind to yourself, you are really holding it together despite everything”
“it just feels like all I have been doing is holding on and my fingers hurt from the efforts”
He was on the other end of the line while I sat on the floor beside my bed with the headphones over my ears. This being our second counselling session. I had met him for the first time towards the end of last year when I was struggling again and needed to talk to someone. He replaced the woman who started with me through my diagnosis and larger part of treatment.
One of the things I liked when I was in his office was the seating arrangement. It was not the regular intimidating pupil-before-headteacher seating arrangement. The chairs were at an angle where you did not feel being stared at. I also liked his aura. A counsellor who was barely there. He was not in your face and allowed you breathe. He seemed the type who would simply sit with you and hold your hand if all you wanted to do during your session was cry instead of talk.
“only snag for those who have high EQ is it could be a burden sometimes” his voice lured me back from wandering
“how do you mean?” It was my turn now to ask
“people tend to take advantage of them because they are always in control of their emotions and reactions. So sometimes others think they are unfeeling not realising the discipline it takes to contain their emotions”
“you are so spot on. Sometimes I really wish I could let go and unravel like others because people tend to respect those type more”.
“we cannot help who we are most times” he replied
I went into the child’s pose allowing my body relax as we chatted some more before the session ended.