Dear Reader,
There was this prince who was forced to relocate from his country.
As in he was given no option but to practically abandon all and move to some foreign land. It was no fun period for him as he was married with no child yet. Imagine what his new wife must have felt. Separation from her father’s house into a new family and right before settling in, her crazy husband comes with this story of jettisoning all that was familiar for some uncertain future.
It was probably more painful because she had married into a comfortable family and as was the custom, looked forward to the spoils of office. But this psycho prince of hers was asking her to abandon the luxuries of comfort and follow him on some crazy wild goose chase with no certainty. A lot of sacrifice, if you ask me. Then again, once you accept to marry a man, you have signed up for all his idiosyncrasies, And as the one called to obey and respect, your vote sometimes do not count.
Meanwhile, the man finally settled in some country and God blessed him beyond his expectations. He integrated; talked and walked like them. And well accepted too. He sat at the City Hall with the political and business classes attracting some reverence here and envy there.
Then, his wife died.
Man had to bury his wife but had no gravesite. Because settled and comfortable he might be but he was still renting. And so much as he had integrated into his host community, he was still a foreigner. You know how funny it is that in relationships, some things only crop up backend?
And you might be right in thinking that having assimilated into this new land of strange people and cultures, he was one of them already with the same access and rights as a native, right?
Wrong.
As life happened, he finds out to his chagrin that he is still a foreigner. Therefore, he called for a meeting of leaders of the land -he wanted to buy a permanent site for his family. The elders reassured him that as one of them, he was entitled to anything he wanted and could have it for free. All he needed to do was point to a land. Our man was equipped with lots of social intelligence. He understood how the game was played in his adopted land. He pointed out the land he wanted. The owner of the land told him he could have it for free since it was not a big deal anyway.
Pause!
You do recall our guy was socially intelligent, right? He thanked this prominent citizen for the offer but insisted on putting a price to it. The citizen still insisted on him having the land for free, I mean how much is 4k compared to their relationship? Aha!! He has put a value to it. At this point, our man could have simply taken up the free offer since the amount was quite negligible (well depends on which currency you are converting from)
Our man was street-smart, remember? He understood the twitches of the eyes and covert glances. And he insisted on paying. The seller pushed back and it became a back and forth with the other members dissuading him from paying.
However, pay he did, in the presence of everyone. And even when a man’s handshake used to be his bond, he went further to insist on documentation. Guy did not want to subject his family to stories tomorrow when an issue would arise and most witnesses would either have been dead, lost their memories or were bought over by the opponent.
And that singular act saved his children from a lot of headaches years down the line. It also ensured that heritage remained in his family without contention.
Lessons learnt?
1. Free has a price. Why put a cost to the land if you wanted him to have it for free?
2. Be discerning enough to read between the lines.
3. Documentation in business is key. Even among trusted associates.
4. Tidy up your loose ends while you still can so no one has to clean up your mess afterwards
Adaptation: Abraham and the cave of Machpelah.