Sharon is one of the innumerable gifts Life sent my way as I traipsed through the valley of shadow of death via cancer
Recently, we were on the phone and I was taking her through a Values Elicitation session. Simply put, it is an NLP tool which helps dislodge you from your inertia by untangling your cobwebs.
Read below part of that call as consented by her.
SHARON’S STORY
“When I got pregnant, everything changed. Especially within my family. The disappointment was too heavy. I had gone from the promising daughter – with high hopes and expectations — who was trained abroad and brought back home, to an unwed single mother. A failure
I resigned from my job as I could not bear the shame. I left church due to the stigma which was worse because he was active in the church.
Then I had to move back home to the same neighbourhood I grew up in. This was after my father died and I was the only unmarried person in the family. In addition to the fact that I was struggling financially and by now dependent on the others, my mother needed someone so I moved in with my son.
The intervening years damaged my self esteem. I carry the shame around and feel like everyone is staring at me when I step out. I no longer have friends and no social interactions. So I only join online Groups and even there I do not talk as I do not want to be known. I also do not think I have any value to bring to anyone.
That is why I am very quiet in Groups .” This woman in her 40s concluded plaintively in her 5 year old voice.
“Congratulations. You try” I said sarcastically in a Nigerian slang
“So this is what you have been putting that teenage boy through?
“How do you mean” she asked
“You are raising a son who sees you tell him that he is a mistake. Do you have any idea what that is doing to his identity and esteem?
“But I do not know what to do. I am not bold like you”
“Is that what you think about me? bold? do you know the difference between I and you?
“No” she remarked
“Our glasses”
“Glasses?” I was enjoying her confusion
“Yes. Prisms. What we are looking at”
“I don’t understand”
CREATE YOUR MOSAIC
We are in a procession to some destination, all of us attired in white. As we sashay along, Life thoughtlessly tosses a bunch of rotten lemons at us. While some of us where lucky enough to step out of the way in time, a few of us watched in horror as our dresses welcomed the lemons.
Now, you Sharon, extricate yourself from the procession, flop down there with a soiled dress and start crying. I, on the other hand, noticing the damage to my attire began to go through a range of emotions like you.
However, instead of stopping, I kept moving, albeit slowly now. As I move, I make a mosaic of my outfit with the lemon stains. Although it stands me out from the team, it also draws attention to me and makes me intriguing. It says there is something about her which makes her dress different. Yet, she is daring enough to be here”.
As the world celebrates women today, I celebrate all Sharons! Get off the floor, look at your dress and decide the pattern you want to create. Remember that a mosaic is made up of different materials woven together to create a stunning piece.
Start now. #AccelerateAction!